The best laid plans

I remember it as if it were yesterday.

May 5th, 2009. I was sitting anxiously in my sister in laws labor and delivery room. This was the culmination of everything that freaked me out about having a baby.Sure the 9 months was scary, and I knew that I would be a mess, but this was it, either way of getting that baby out was absolutely terrifying to me. If the baby was to exit from the "Whoooohaah" (what I refer to as my "lady parts") there is sure to be horrific pain and torture, there is no way that thing is ever getting back to normal. . . and worse to me then that traumatic option... was them having to slice and dice your stomach to get the baby out. Everyone says its an amazing miracle, its what a woman's body was made to do. I'm sorry, not mine, NO THANK YOU!!! 

Everyone in the room was excited, happy, and strangely peaceful.  Of  course I was thrilled to be welcoming a new life into the world. We were finally getting a niece and I couldn't wait to have a new little life in our family. It was just being in that room, sitting in the sterilized environment, the overhead lights shining down and the impending "doom" that was coming. I couldn't get the traumatic images out of my head . . . she had to get out from where she was and that scared the crap out of me.I actually said out loud to the room full of my husband's family " I will never do this".

That was it, my declaration to the world, his family, and to God. If there was any doubt before, this sealed the deal. I was never going to make a baby!

I don't know what everyone's take on God or a higher power might be. But here are my belief's in a nutshell, at least as it pertains to this situation. I believe there is a God, and that my God has a crazy sense of humor. I believe that when we attempt to take matters in to our own hands, he often steps in and shows us that we really do not decide a single thing. 

At 7:33 am, on May 6, 2009, I became a Tia (Aunt) for the third time. The first time since being married and I've got to say it was absolutely amazing. She was absolutely gorgeous, perfect fingers and toes, the epitome of petite. A little princess to her two older brothers, an angel to her adoring father, and God's miracle gift to her mother. Her mom, happily recovering on a cocktail of meds was completely out of it and blissfully in love with her new little girl. Sure she had just "popped" out a kid, but she was in love! And a big piece of my heart now belonged to our precious little niece.