I knew it would happen. I prayed the entire 9 months that he was in my belly cookin'; prayed he would grow healthy and strong. But now. . . .I want time to stand still. My stomach physically hurts when I look at his baby pictures. Seeing that little itty bitty baby swaddled up in my arms minutes after he entered this world.
I remember that girl laying in the bed holding him. She was terrified, anxious, and overwhelmed. Being a nanny had taught her the basics. She was a pro at a 30 second diaper change. She knew how to soothe colic, cure diaper rash, and entertain happiness. She was completely caught off guard by the amount of love that would fill her heart the very instant she saw his face. The immeasurable weight of responsibility that would come when this little new life was her 100% responsibility. Every decision, what to feed, how to feed, when to feed would seem like some major , world altering decision.
This girl, sitting her now, is so drastically different. She has come to learn that beyond food, sleep, and diapers... there is not much else this little guy needs. She is strong and confident in this new role. Every day has it's challenges but instead of worrying about the long term effects of her parenting decisions. She goes with her gut. Trusts the mama instincts.... and has set up a therapy fund for her son to use after all the physiological damage has been done :o)
So since I can not stop time, I will spend this month looking back with amazing love, happiness, and anticipation of the year to come !
Adios Mis Amigos,
Just think about how I feel since Sheldon turned 21 last fall
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