V Day

Here's the thing . . .. . I love my husband... from the depths of my soul. I feel both honored and blessed to know that I have found someone who I want to spend the rest of my life with. Well except on those days when he is annoying the heck out of me. Then I can't get rid of him soon enough, but everyone has their moments , right?

He was super sweet all day Sunday and spent the entire day being great.  He took little man out grocery shopping for a delicious breakfast, which meant mama got to sleep in (hooray). Made my favorite blueberry wheat pancakes (yippee) and we spent the day in happy bliss. I even got a spa pedicure out of it all which makes me seriously  happy.

The thing that bugs me.... is the emphasis on this one day.

As I sat this morning stalking faceook with my morning cup-o-coffee I was nauseated with all of the PDA. Husbands telling their wives how much they love them. Wives ranting and raving about their husbands. Boy friends and girlfriends posting all sort of lovey doveyness on their significant others. All very much public displays. I had to laugh at some, knowing the guys pretty well, and seeing their outwardly (complete contradictions to their real world personalities) displays of affection.

I'm not a valentines hater... I'm simply a 365 tell 'em how you feel kind of girl. Sure I benefited by the hubs being taken up in the commercialness.... I loved every second of my "valentines day" but . . . if this was the only day each year he treated me like this.. I would start to get a complex.....

on that note.... Happy Valentines day my friends 




Adios Mis Amigos,

I'm in a funk.... and I can't get out of it

I should really know better then to pray for patience or wisdom.

It's usually when I do, that God teaches me through the annoying, frustrating, and crazy things in life. But a girl never learns and so enters...lessons God is trying to teach me.

Hubs was traveling a few weeks ago for interviews.

Interviews that would land him Jobs on the east coast. Jobs that would take this baby maker back to her hometown. Jobs that would allow her to be home-sweet-home with her family.

Before Hubs even started "booking" interviews, we sat down and prayed. Asking God for Wisdom. That he open one door because we weren't smart enough to know what job to choose. We prayed for patience that we wouldn't rush into anything but wait for HIM to show us where we were supposed to be.

But in normal baby maker fashion I started planning and plotting. I'd have my sister come down and help me pack, I would fly up with the baby, and be home in time for little man's first birthday. Uhhhuhhh patience right???


Well... at least 3 weeks have passed since the interviews. We heard from two out of the three... both doors closed. That leaves only one opportunity left and they are taking their sweet time letting us know whats going on. First a phone interview with the manager, which took over a week to coordinate.... and now... waiting another week to hear back from that.... and friends.... little man's birthday is less then a week away :(

Unless mountains get moving pretty quickly, it looks like my plans are not happening . . .. so alas... I take a deep breath..... thank God for this lesson in truly relying on HIM


Adios Mis Amigos,

soooo sleepy

Wow, so last night we set a record. I have to say, I'm exhausted.... haha... and before I go any further the record was set by little man....  for "most times waking up screaming bloody murder". He was up 6 times in 6 hours... even with a dose of tylenol the little man could not sleep peacefully, which means... mama is exhausted!!! 

I'm 99.9% sure it's teeth, but as of 6am I was at my end. Thank God the last screaming fit happened just as hubs alarm was going off... he got him a bottle, some tylenol and back to bed for an hour...

since I'm clearly not functioning... I thought... I'd leave you with this yummy photo... we are in the process of making valentines to send to our family in NJ :o) Enjoy

Adios Mis Amigos,

Thankful Thursdays- I'm a freak

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I'm a freak. There I said it. 

I allow "what if" to consume me. Tonight I couldn't sleep. And like I always do I flip open my google reader in hopes that all of my friends words will lull me off to a sweet slumber. I read of one mama's struggle to teach her son look but don't touch. Another mama was recounting her son's birth as he was approaching his 21st birthday. (yikes I'm crying over the fact that my son is turning 1, can only imagine how I'll be come 21). And then I stumbled apon my recent favorite site. I'm not going to lie, I seek her out on an almost daily basis. She is a source of inspiration when I need some creative juice. She is a mama to two sweet baby girls and I just love reading and "catching up". Kelly over at enjoy the small things has a way of wrapping you up in the warm and fussy. She uses amazing pictures of her girls to go along with the stories and honestly, it's not unusal to find myself teary eyed after reading her blog. 

Tonight she talks of a friend who lost their 8 year old son in a sledding accident. Sledding of all things. Jump on over to her site to read the story. But it caught my heart in such a way that I found myself sobbing. 

I don't know how you make it through something like that. The void and emptiness that would fill my soul is something that I don't know I could survive. Maybe survive is the wrong word, I know I wouldn't physically end, but spiritually, emotionally. I don't have words. 

So I climbed out into the dark hallway, scooped my sleeping son up in my arms and sat and rocked. I stroked his hair, ran my fingers along his cheeks and prayed to God that he send angels to protect him. I don't know the mama there in Michigan, but she overtook my prayers. Praying for someone I don't know, haven't met, and only read about online. Praying that she is somehow able to find peace.

Adios Mis Amigos,

He's not a baby anymore

I've started this post about 7 times, nope, make that 8. I just can't come to grips with the fact that my little man, my baby, this little teeny tiny 6 pound 10 ounces of pure yummy goodness is turning 1.

I knew it would happen. I prayed the entire 9 months that he was in my belly cookin'; prayed he would grow healthy and strong. But now. . . .I want time to stand still. My stomach physically hurts when I look at his baby pictures. Seeing that little itty bitty baby swaddled up in my arms minutes after he entered this world.

I remember that girl laying in the bed holding him. She was terrified, anxious, and overwhelmed. Being a nanny had taught her the basics. She was a pro at a 30 second diaper change. She knew how to soothe colic, cure diaper rash, and entertain happiness. She was completely caught off guard by the amount of love that would fill her heart the very instant she saw his face. The immeasurable weight of responsibility that would come when this little new life was her 100% responsibility. Every decision, what to feed, how to feed, when to feed would seem like some major , world altering decision.

This girl, sitting her now, is so drastically different. She has come to learn that beyond food, sleep, and diapers... there is not much else this little guy needs. She is strong and confident in this new role. Every day has it's challenges but instead of worrying about the long term effects of her parenting decisions. She goes with her gut. Trusts the mama instincts.... and has set up a therapy fund for her son to use after all the physiological damage has been done :o)

So since I can not stop time, I will spend this month looking back with amazing love, happiness, and anticipation of the year to come ! 


Adios Mis Amigos,