hormones or new found courage? ? ?

Today I found myself in a unique situation, unique for me anyway. I am not one to openly speak my mind. At least not in the moment it happens. I try to remain calm and collected, I like to think through things before I share my thoughts. This most often leads to me watering down my thoughts and opinions to a degree that I think will be well received by audience. I have never felt justified in forcing my opinion on someone. I have always been offended by the man that complains to the drive through person that the order is taking too long. I can't stand the woman in the deli that is flipping out at the clerk, as if that poor person is the one in charge of ordering their beloved turkey and its their fault that its gone. I just never saw the point--until TODAY!!!

I need to preface the next part with the fact that I have worked in customer service and have friends and family that are currently working in such fields. I always try to think of the person standing in front of me as someone's mother, daughter, friend. I always strive to treat everyone I come in contact with, with a certain level of respect and dignity. I try to remind myself that maybe they are just having an off day, surely they don't always behave that way. Today was not that day.

I am running on no more then two hours of sleep at any given time. Overdosing on caffeine in an attempt to make it through the day I'm sure has some effect on my nerves. When little man and I are home we have our routine, schedule and life works well. I lay down when he is sleeping and even though I don't sleep, I am able to at least rest and recharge enough to make it until 10pm. Today we had to venture out during our normal quiet time. We had to sign some papers at a local financial institution (not naming names because I would never judge an entire organization on one crappy, uneducated, poorly trained office). I plan my day around this adventure, carefully calculating little man's morning nap and feeding so that he will be at his most potential happiness while we are there. I pack him up, load up the diaper bag and we are on our way. Out of sheer coincidence I think to call ahead to let the above mentioned person know we are on our way. She had absolutely insisted just two weeks earlier that we come in on this day, at this time. As I am getting ready to turn into her parking lot she informs me that her end of things were not done. She had not done any of the paperwork, filed any of the forms and beyond that, all of the information she gave me two weeks ago was no longer valid and the situation was completely different....... Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

I don't know if it's the post pregnancy chemicals, lack of sleep, complete shortage of patience, or the realization that a person should not be doing a job that is beyond their capabilities. I suddenly found the words to tell this woman exactly how I felt. No more "thinking through things". I let it rip. Normally I would have a "post outburst guilt" but today, nothing. At the end of my conversation I informed her that I would be doing everything within my power to not only take my business elsewhere but also ensure that non of my friends or family would have to suffer through her offices poor business practices. (this is putting it nicely).

Today I learned the value of your words. If I had taken my normal course of action, thought through things and called her back when I was in a "better state of mind" I may have misconstrued my complete and utter digust with the situation. I probably would have said something like "no problem, when is a good time for you" and this would have led her to believe that its okay to not follow through. That as a business vendor it's okay to not follow through on what you say you are going to do. Sometimes we all need a little kick in the pants to help us be the best version of ourselves. Hopefully she will take today as a learning experience, make it a point to not promise something unless she knows that she can make it happen. Hopefully I will walk away from today, knowing that sometimes I just have to let it rip. Sometimes I need to speak my mind on the important things, and don't water down situations or things that are important to me.

So, today, I like to think that I found an inner courage to speak my mind and hope that I can keep it around.