How do you, when do you, should you even at all?

Have another kid that is! 

We have never really planned to get pregnant. Little man was a giant awesome surprise. 

I know that it had to be that way because 

I would have never been able to fully commit to deciding to bring a life into the world.

  

It's such a huge decision. 

Especially for someone who never really wanted to have biological children in the first place. 

I had always wanted to adopt, 

and the thought of having a child, 

growing a teeny tiny cell into a whole human being 

scared the crap out of me. 

Now, one child down. I know what I'm getting myself into. 

I know the months of nausea and vomitting. 

The endless nights of tossing and turning 

because there is absolutely no comfortable position left on  earth. 

The aching boobs, painful heartburn, and labor, HA!!!!! 

I did not have a fantastic pregnancy and my labor was scary.

 

And now with having a three and half year old to keep up with. 

How could I possible keep up with him and do all that I needed to do 

and still be a somewhat decent Mama to little man???? 

The guilt of not being 100% there for him !!! 

And once a new baby were to arrive, 

he would be lucky to get any semblance of attention like he was used to.

And yet couples do it all the time. Plot pregnancies and perfectly spaced children. 

Why do I have such issues!

Adios Mis Amigos,