Thursday, April 29, 2010

It's my party I can cry if I want to !!!!

I know your thinking, "Baby Maker, how in the world could you have a bad day with a gorgeous, beautiful amazing little man like that??"
First -I know right, he is beautiful :o)  I needed to get a picture up that would melt your hearts to the amazingness that is my little guy. Second, this picture was taken the day after the raging storm also known as "little man" had passed.

The day I am referencing was not a good day for the baby maker or little man. My quest for domesticity was put on hold. Little man took priority over Day 3's previously scheduled cooking :o)  Below you will see a more accurate picture of our day.... the date on the picture is wrong but this is what I was dealing with

Our entire day (over 10 hours) consisted of eating, crying, and the occasional cat nap. For the first time in my 9weeks and 5 days of motherhood I was helpless.  I was frustrated, exhausted, over caffeinated from an insomnia induced sleepless night the night before. He was crying for who knows what, for over an hour and a half. I fed, changed, snuggled, walked, and every other thing I could think of. Nothing was working to comfort him. I have to tell you it absolutely broke my heart. For many reasons, but the biggest, he always cries for reason, but his was the first time I couldn't figure it out. I am his mommy, I am supposed to know what he needs, whats bothering him, and be able to fix it. I'm sure this is the first time of many that I will feel helplessly useless. So there we sat, him screaming bloody murder and be sobbing because he was crying.  

Adios Mi Amigos,

Monday, April 26, 2010

Day 2 . . . cleaning ... seriously this time

Okay friends.  It may be 5:00pm but at least it got done eventually. Granted I started @ 10am but hey. . . I did have major distractions and obligations. Little man isn't feeding himself quite yet.

I gave myself 30 minutes per room... only the downstairs.. I'm no superwoman :o)  So we are talking about family room, dining room, kitchen, foyer and hallways, and guest bathroom. Not too shabby if I do say so myself. All with little man in his Wrap Carrier! I de-cluttered. Organized. Threw a ton of junk away (yay me). I even managed to sweep. Mopping for another day, but at least I can say I didn't quit on the 2nd day... what kind of loser quits something after day 1 . . . not me ... haha

Lesson's I learned about cleaning in my quest for domesticity. Be prepared. Gather up all of your supplies ahead of time and take them with you from room to room. Give yourself 30 minutes. I don't know about you but I can do anything if I know its for a limited time. 30 minutes to me is the perfect amount of time to be productive and accomplish good stuff, but also not get irritated, bored, or distracted.

Yay for me . . . .tomorrow ... cooking .... YIKES off to go search the web for a good, yummy EASY meal that will be hard to screw up

~Accidental Baby Maker

So much for cleaning . . .

So, I am in desperate need of motivation. Today, Day 2 in my quest for domesticity was supposed to be cleaning day. Little man is fussy, the dogs are driving my crazy (see yesterdays post). and with packing there are boxes all over every room of the house. Is there really any point to cleaning??? I think not... except that the dirt and clutter is driving me out of my skin. I'm cranky, hormonal and wish I could just blink and my entire house would be packed and clean and ready to go!!!

putting little man in the wrap and going for a walk before this house drives me crazy

~Accidental Baby Maker

Day 1. . . day of rest :o)

In my quest for domesticity I realized that I need to set up a weekly schedule. Me being the anal retentive list maker I need to know what my day requires. I need things to cross of and feel a sense of accomplishment. So... Sundays are going to be a day of rest. I day to spend quality time with hubs, the little man, and the furballs.

Today's majority of quality time was devoted to the dogs. They have been poorly neglected since little man's arrival. I am ashamed to say that they have spent the better part of 9 weeks outside. They love it, birds to chase, squirrels to bark after. I place a fresh bowl of food and water out every morning, but I have never been a fan of "outside dogs". Whats the point of having pets if your going to seclude them outside all the time. I was feeling like a very bad pet owner and even toyed with the idea of trying to find them a home who would give them the time they deserved.

(picture is pre-shave down, they now look like chemo dogs)   :o(

Then I watched Marley and Me, balled my eyes out, and realized that we all needed to adjust to little man's arrival. Pets are no exception. They got a buzz cut shave down. My first time ever and poor things will need a few weeks to grow back some level of decency. But at least there won't be piles of hair all over the floors. (big pet peeve). They both got a good shampoo and brush down of what little fur is left. So now I feel that they are sanitary enough to be inside with the baby. Next was getting the baby used to them. I allowed them both some time of exploring. Little man got sniffed from head to toe, and the dogs got a serious stare down. The barking is another story, and I don't know that any of us will ever get used to the rutcus they make when someone is anywhere near our front door. But at least now I feel that animal right's folks should not be beating down my door. Dogs are clean, little man adjusted famously. Now on to "rest".

Tomorrow's agenda. . . . cleaning. (uuuuuuugh)

~Accidental Baby Maker

Sunday, April 25, 2010

My Quest for Domesticity

domesticity n pl -ties 1. home life 2. devotion to or familiarity with home life 

It was told to me when I was around the age of 16 that I would need to marry a gay man. That I needed someone who was good at cooking, cleaning, dressing, and all around domesticity. This was due to the fact that even then, my friends, family, and closest companions knew that I was completely lost when it came to all things "wifely". 
I am not a good cook, let me rephrase that, I don't cook at all. Many have tried, given me their "easiest recipes". I'm just not good at it. Maybe its having to be precise in my measurements. I can't handle a dash of this, or a splash of that. I need good solid measurable ingredients. But then on the opposite end of the spectrum, I'm really not that great with directions. Somehow my meals never turn out like they are supposed to. So I stopped trying. Most people have at least one signature dish. Not I. Sure I can throw a pound of speghetti into some boiling water, and warm up some Ragu. But I'm talking about a real dish, one that requires some spices, herbs, seasoning. Every girl should have at least one dish right??? 

I absolutely hate cleaning. I feel completely defeated after spending all of my time and energy scrubbing, scouring, sweeping, mopping, and de-germing only to have it dirty again within a few hours. (the cost of having two dogs and a hubs) I know it needs to get done, and I love the end result. Nothing soothes my soul more then the sent of lemon fresh clean floors and a spotless house. I just hate feeling like the second the house is lived in for more then two seconds there is a new mess. I would drive myself crazy attempting to keep the house as clean as I like it. So again, I gave up. Now I'm lucky to get the house cleaned when we are having company over. (I keep it sanitary, just not "clean clean")

This brings me to laundry. My husband now wears dress shirts, ties, and trousers to work every day. The pants and shirts need serious ironing. I have never ironed a man's shirt in my life. Seriously. If I have something I want to wear that is wrinkled I toss it in the dryer and remind myself to not buy that material again. And besides, all of my laundry hours are put it keeping our 2 month old in clean clothes, do you know how many outfits, bibs, burp clothes, blankets, sheets, a baby goes through in a day???

All of these things are items which I know, now as a Mom I should be doing. I am not striving to be a Leave it to Beaver or Martha Stewart by anymeans. Simply trying to aquire a hint of domestic domination. Granted my life is in a bit of an upheaval with packing, moving, unpacking, and tending to the little man. But I am determined to get a grip on this.

~Accidental Baby Maker

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Who's Wearing who ????

So, little man and I have come to a crossroads. . . he is 2 months old... actually 9 weeks but I have never been a fan of those mom's that give their child's age in weeks/days/hours. I round to the nearest month :o) Anywhoo back to the point.... what was my point.... ohhh right.... baby wearing.

I LOVE MY MOBY WRAP!!!!! Going to the grocery store before was a nightmare, little man was happy in his car sear for all of about 10 minutes, and then turned into the screaming gremlin... do you know anyone that can get done grocery shopping in 10 minutes... yeah... not so much.

Yesterday little man and I ventured out to wal mart..... sporting the wrap....I got myself all set up wearing it before leaving the house... still havent figured out how to put it on without dragging the material all over the floor.. not that great for parking lot... not only was he happy as a clam (are clams really happy?) but he even napped for the majority of the trip..... YAY !!! I even had time to look and browse through material and artsy fartsy stuff.... mommy got inspired :o)

 He is in heaven being held and now mama has her hands free .... but here is the problem... how much wearing is too much.... can you over-wear your baby..... he has a swing, floor gym, baby jungle gym however doesn't want anything to do with those things.... plus, maybe mama just needs some getting used to it... but I can't seem to do much more then walking around the house with him in the wrap...or of course sitting and playing on the computer.. but that is not exactly productive.... I read all of these posts about how mom's are able to do laundry, dishes, cooking with the baby in the slings... maybe with some practice.... we'll see

~Accidental Baby Maker

Friday, April 23, 2010

When did my world start to revolve around pooo ????

Just one more perk of being a mommy. . . .being thrilled that your son has a bowel movement. Until this last formula switch-a-roo my poor little man's tummy was quite a mess. We just couldn't find a formula that worked. He was either having the runs all day long or going 2-3 days without a poo .  We happily found one that is AWESOME!!! and are thrilled... except when it comes to the poo... I am amazed at how completely naaaaaasty one little teeny tiny person's poo could be.

In all of my years of nannying I never remember dealing with this kind of stink-o-rama, I am sorry if this is totally grossing you out, but most mom's are completely immune. I am still working on that supermom power. It brought me to a startling realization.... again... I am "that" mom..... I find myself in anxious anticipation, not for the wonderful task of changing aforementioned diaper, but for the sweet relief it offers my little man.

When did my life go from mani's and pedi's in the afternoon with girlfriends to being up to my elbows in poo???

~Accidental Baby Maker

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

I didn't realize I had TWO babies

Tonight I have realized that I may have carried one baby in my belly for 10 months. I may have struggled through labor and delivery to physically birth one baby boy. But now my life is consumed with caring for two babies. One precious adorable 2 month old, whom I love with all my heart and soul..... and a 33 year old whiny old man (aka hubs).

(((disclaimer, I love my husband, he is my lifelong partner, but like every guy, well, he's a guy and tonight is not one of his finer moments)))

 ~Accidental Baby Maker

Thursday, April 15, 2010

A New Direction

So I have been absolutely consumed with mom blogs over the past two weeks. I am absolutely amazed at how many are out there. Any direction, viewpoint, and opinion is listed a million times. Here I thought," let me bring something new to the table." HA!!!

I guess the only thing new that I hope to bring is that I will simply be speaking my mind. I doubt that there is anyone else out there that is crazy in my head.

Instead of being hugely concerned with give aways and getting my "numbers" up (followers) I am going to concentrate on doing what I do.... being a mom to this little man.... and hoping that there are people out there that will come to my blog even if I'm not giving away samples of things.

 ~Accidental Baby Maker

Saturday, April 10, 2010

An evening alone!!

So tonight was the first night in over 7 weeks .. not to mention 9 months of pregnancy that I was alone. No little man!!! The hubs took him for his first solo outting to visit his mother. At first I had a huge knot in my stomach. What if something happened, what if little man was upset, could hubs figure out how to soothe him? What if there was an explosive diaper? Could hubs handle it? It took me a good hour to be able to calm down and relax. Realizing that realistically he was driving 20 minutes and then would be surrounded by not only his mother, but his aunts. Little man would be completely fine he just needed to "survive" the car ride there and back. . . then it hit me. . . I was alone !!!

I literally sat on the couch staring blankly at the wall in front of me. . . what to do ??? Part of me, realizing that we are moving in less then a month was tempted to be productive, get organized, maybe even pack a box or two. Then it hit me. . . it's taken 7 weeks for this moment to come . . . I needed to enjoy it!!!!

I window shopped online for all of the things I would have bought back in the day ... pre-baby makin'. I checked out the newest Coach bags. Since having little man I have traded in my beloved bags for my baby bag. When I do run to the grocery store, Walmart, or Walgreens without little man I just grab my wallet and run. I then went over to amazon and perused the top selling items, I love seeing what others are buying. Financially we are in no place for frivolous shopping. Every penny we spend is out of nessecity. Food, baby stuff and gas for the cars. When something is left over it goes into our savings account that has been depleted since little man's arrival. So even after what seemed like forever of browsing online I still hadn't heard that they were on their way home yet . . . what's a girl to do ????

A nice hot bubble bath.... some Michael Buble playing in the background and some much needed daydreaming

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Thankful Thursday

Gratitude creates it's own attitude. This week I am thankful for the amazing family God has given me. They are truly a huge support system, my best friends, my heart and soul.

This past week I had the awesome blessing of having my sister come down for a visit. She's the 2nd in line of the 6 of us. The mothering, nurturing, care taker, Elementary school teacher. It's funny how growing up, her and I argued about pretty much everything. It's an amazing transformation when the person who used to be your arch nemesis suddenly turns into one of your best friends. I didn't realize how much I missed her until seeing her. And then realizing how much I missed her, made me realize how much I have missed the other 4 sisters that are back home in NJ.

I've realized that God has placed each and every person in our family for a reason. Some offer their strength and support with common knowledge and tough love. Others offer us their crazy sense of humor,  bigheartedness and easy going attitude.

I am so thankful for each and every person, even the crazies :o)

Have you taken a moment to be thankful ??? What are you most thankful for?

~Accidental Baby Maker

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Smiling Sunday . . . . What Easter means to me

I am not one to normally talk about my faith in such a public forum. Not because I am ashamed or embarrassed but because I believe too often Christians make their faith known to the world with words and criticism but then rarely follow up with the actions and a lifestyle that are tribute to that very same faith.

So I find myself being very careful with what I say, because I know the world is watching. Instead I would hope that people who are close to me, who know my heart, my life, and my actions would see that there is a difference in me and know that the difference is the Lord in my life. I am not perfect by any means. I stumble and have fallen too many times to count.Today however, is a day in my life that I am extremely grateful and blessed.

I have always felt that Easter was the time in my life to reflect on the year that has passed, realize and recognize the areas that I have fallen short, the ways that I don't live up to faith, and set those as my "project" for the coming year. To genuinely strive to not make the same mistakes again.

Despite the many ways that my life has not lived up to the faith I cling so dearly to, I know that I am forgiven, loved, and encouraged to live my life in away that is honoring to God. My Easter celebration is in the fact that I have a God that loved me so much that He was willing to suffer the unthinkable so I could be saved.

I pray that this next year I live a life that is not only honoring and glorifying to him, but be a light so bright that people can't help but know that I am different. That I will not need to proclaim with my mouth, but live by actions that the world will know and see that God is in control of my life. 

~Accidental Baby Maker

when I grow up I wanna be . . . .

So before I was an Accidental Baby Maker I was just me. Now that I am Little Man's mom I decided to take a day that is only about me. No talk of baby or hubs, just me...well I'm sure I'll talk about them, but you know what I mean :o)

I'm finding myself at a cross roads, I have been in this place before and each time made the same decision. I'm feeling like now that I am a mom and responsible for another human life its time for me to get my professional life on track.  On one hand I have absolutely loved being a nanny for the past 9+ years. I have loved watching children grow. Being a part of their lives, memories, and becoming a part of so many families. But is this really something that I want to do for the rest of my life? Now that I have my own little guy do I really have the energy to be raising someone else children along with my own? Is it something to make a career doing?

I have never been one of those girls that knew exactly what they wanted to be when they grew up. One of my sisters (I have 5) has known since the earliest days that she wanted to be a teacher, the other is an amazing artist and I pray that her life's career will find her in something artsy and creative. One is now a lawyer and while she hates her current position, tax law can you blame her, she has a career. I have always loved kids, been surrounded by them because of my ginormous family and so "nanny'ing" is something that just worked. The money was great, the "co-workers" were wonderful (I know kids aren't everyone's cup of tea, but I love 'em). It was a rewarding way to spend my days and get paid to color out of the lines, play with play dough, and snuggle with some pretty fabulous kids.

So now I find myself where I have been before, what to do with myself.....Sure I love being a mom, and if it were a job that paid the bills I'd be happy and content. Unfortunately, no matter how completely precious and adorable my little man is, he's not signing any paychecks and so this Baby Maker must find a way to make a living.

So the research begins, I am looking into all sorts of fields, mainly medical transcription. The training is pretty quick and something I can do from home. I can work from home once I'm certified, and its something that seems interesting to me. Learning all the lingo in medical fields, without the blood, guts, and gore. We'll see which road I take and where this journey takes me.... but for now.... I'm okay just being this little man's mama.

~Accidental Baby Maker

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Thankful Thursday and a Raccoon :o)

Gratitude creates it's own attitude. Boy do I need a new attitude this evening (written Wednesday night). So instead of focusing on the absolute mayhem of today. I'm writing my thankful Thursday early to try to get my head and more importantly my heart in the right place.

Today I am thankful for God giving each of us a sense of humor. No two people are the same in what tickles their funny bone. For some its a dry sense of humor, others sarcastic, for me. . .its random.

I truly believe that you can either laugh or cry. When I find myself having a moment to choose (sometimes the tears just happen) --I chose laughter. Although sometimes a good cry is just what the doctor ordered. Today, I chose to laugh.

I found myself with a screaming baby. Poor little mister was adjusting to a new formula and spent the better part of 48 hours in my arms or crying. The two dogs, Rocky and Zoey,  had just been attacked by a raccoon, and that very same raccoon was laying half dead on my back patio. I spent the next 5 hours getting tossed back and forth from one glorious department of San Antonio to the next. Non of which handled my specific situation.

If the raccoon, who I lovingly named "pain in my butt" PIMB for short, was doing better and could potentially "make it" then the Animal Rescue & Rehabilitation department would have come and rescued him, but since poor little PIMB was on deaths door they didn't handle it. Animal control didn't handle raccoons apparently they are too "risky" with the threat of Rabies and other Communicable diseases. Sure of course, lets leave that same "too risky" animal on my back porch. They referred me to the Game Warden who conveniently wasn't in his office the 10 times I called. With each and every phone call I am finding myself in complete disbelief. I started to loose track of the offices I was calling. For instance apparently the city of San Antonio has a Predatory Animals department. Surely they could handle one whimpy little raccoon. Ohh no, not so fast, a raccoon is not considered predatory, despite the high risk of infection of scary diseases. At this point I thought for sure I had to be on an episode of Punked... surely Ashton Kutcher would be popping out of my pantry at any moment. Not so lucky. Finally, the very first person I had spoken with was the one that was indeed supposed to handle it. She had tried to pass it off, sent me on a while goose chase, and low and behold 5 hours later, I had finally found out how to get rid of little PIMB. 

So the day ended, the Hubs came and picked up the dogs to take them in for a mandatory Rabies booster. We'll know by Friday if PIMB is infected with anything else, at which point the dogs will have to get various follow up shots. Until then they are quarantined to their crates or the backyard which is A-Ok with me.

A good friend came over with her little man and we spent the evening wrapped up in the cuteness of our baby boys. The perfect ending to a not so perfect day, but a great ending non the less.

~Accidental Baby Maker