I have always considered myself a very easy going, mellow kind of spirit. Just a go-with-the-flow kind of gal. I used to love flying by the seat of my pants, not a plan in sight and loving every second of it.
I don't know if its pregnancy, hormones, being a mom, or just a new phase of life I'm in. . . .but I'm learning that I am a complete control freak now. I want things done a certain way, in a certain order, and apparently I'm the only one who thinks that this is how it's supposed to be.
I think that my years as a nanny comes into play, because I feel like I have seen all different sorts of parenting. Some good, some bad, some I swore I would never do, and some I have taken and adapted into our lives. But I'm quickly learning that I'm a bit of a freak and need to learn when to let go.
I'm not an alchoholic by any means, and I know that the serenity prayer is not just for the boozers, but I was reading through my email and came across the reminder today. . . .
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
In my quest for awesome domesticity I have been really REALLY trying to be a great mom, domestic goddess, and wife. I have taken on the approach that this is my job. My full time, 24/7, means of employment. My boss- Little Man. While he is pretty needy, I can not imagine a better pay check then at the end of my "shift" (which never ends but we'll say bedtime for laughs) I get to snuggle with this precious ball of cuteness. If I do nothing more in life then raise an amazing, God fearing, loving, compassionate Man I will consider my life a success.
If Little man is the boss, I would consider hubs perhaps the VP. While he is not calling the shots, he and I are partners in this crazy thing we are calling wedlock. He doesn't require much, clean clothes and some food to put in his mouth. (even that is negotiable and he is such a trooper while I attempt to learn how to cook). After raising an amazing Man my second mark of success in this world will be to survive marriage. I'm not giving up on "happily ever after" I'm simply trying to be real. Marriage is a buttload of work. It takes effort and committment every single day. Yes I would love to be like the couple out of the notebook and pass on to eternity snuggled up with my hubs in our bed, but I also know that life is tough, marriage is rough, but that when two people are committed to making it work FOREVER . . . you can survive marriage . . . and maybe even end up happy when it's all said and done.
The moral of this story. I put tortillas in the oven yesterday in my attempt to make yummy home-made tortilla chips. . . . little man started to get fussy, and before I knew it the kitchen, dining room, and family room were filled with nasty burnt food smells.
So scrapped that and we ended up with an entirely different meal. My normal control freak would have been pissed that I forgot, annoyed with the lingering burnt tortilla smell, and frustrated with the situation . . . instead I swung the windows and doors open and took little man for a walk outside while the house was de-stink-ified :o)
Adios Mis Amigos,