Ohh to be you Little Man

Dear Little Man,

My precious baby boy, I pray that you will always realize how good you have it. You sleep when you want, eat when you want, and have your mommy and daddy wrapped around your finger. You truly are the happiest most content baby I have ever met. Sometimes I am just so jealous. Oh to be a baby again!!! I want a nap every 3 hours . . . I want to have someone snuggle me up not let me go . . . .I want to see the world as new and exciting . . . .Thank you for teaching your mommy that there really are few things that require stress and for showing me "the amazing" stuff each and every day ! 

Adios Mis Amigos,

Handle with care.

WARNING: this post might make you wanna unfollow me... I swear I'm not a crazy depressed woman... just needed to vent and who else to talk about it with then the world wide web right??? Handle with care

I have been crazy wrapped up in my own issues the last couple of days/weeks.  It's just putting me in a general cranky pants mood. I'm not feeling creative or funny, and thus have nada to write . . . I am not myself, I have lost interest in the things that used to give me happiness and joy .. . and quite frankly I just wanna curl up in my bed and snuggle the day away with my little man. 

I have been feeling withdrawn and honestly shutting down to the outside world. Focusing any ounce of energy I have on fundamentally essential relationships (hubs and little man since they are the co-habitating) and praying to God that everyone else will understand once I resurface. I have had zero patience for any thing or anyone that comes along. I am just not myself. . . .and I don't like this person. 

I'm am ridiculously home sick. I miss my family more then I have words to explain. I am completely heartbroken that my entire family is missing out on the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. My grandparents have yet to kiss his amazing chubby cheeks. See his miraculous smile first hand. My younger sisters haven't gotten to hold him, squeeze his amazing chunky thighs or snuggle him while he is sleeping. It absolutely kills me. He is truly my miracle. My amazing gift from God and they are missing it. Every day he does something amazing and I look around at the empty house. It's just me and him. I am sad. Sad that these days will never be given back to us, and sad that the people that mean the most to me (besides my husband of course) are never going to know him like this.

I know, I know, go hop on a plane and quit your whining Baby Maker. But I H.A.T.E. HATE flying .... I normally have to dose up on anti motion sickness pills and anti anxiety pills (because of course every plane I fly on will be the one that crashes and burns in a fiery death trap) these knock me out on my booty for a good 4 hour flight. . . how I am supposed to be knocked out and take care of a 4 month old who will, with my luck, scream bloody murder the entire flight. . . .thus. . . my crappy pants mood...which is worse... braving the flight, not taking my happy pills, barfing while trying to handle a baby who is screaming bloody murder and getting to see my family, or sitting here, witching and moaning about how much I miss them.... mmmhmm I know.


It's just one of those days I suppose . . . .


Adios Mis Amigos,

Hotter then heck

In an attempt to loose an ounce of chub a few extra pounds that have accumulated in various places that I can no longer stand I have decided to go walking every day with little man. It turns out to serve two purposes. 1.) gets my booty moving 2.) helps little man through his cranky time of day. The time that is too late for him to take another nap, and not early enough to go to bed for the night. We go out, get in a few laps around our quiet little neighborhood and then back in time for a bottle, bath and bed ... it's been wonderful.

Until lately when the Texas heat has kicked into full swing and I have had to push it back later and later in an attempt to not die of heat stroke. Kind of defeats the purpose if it's going to mess up little man's bottle and bed time but if we go any earlier we would literally both die of heat exhaustion (okay not literally but pretty sure we would be sweaty and gross and potentially suffocate from the humidity.)

  have never really been a summer person. Fall and spring are definitely my favorites... mostly because its awesome to be outdoors (which I love). Since moving to Texas I have missed having seasons. It literally goes from being a coolish 50-60 degrees to hotter then hell. (no I don't know how hot hell is.. but from what I've heard it's pretty toasty)

We are talking the kind of heat that as soon as you walk out the door you immediately start to perspire. I'm sure that I'm a whimp and not accustomed to it, because everyone here plans barbecues and get togethers in which they hang out side as if it's not 150 degrees (IN THE SHADE!!!!)


Adios Mis Amigos,

Let the Journey Begin

Today's the day, well today is prep day, tomorrow we start ..... but for real this time. Last time I tried the "loose the chubby" project I lasted all of 2 days because I really wasn't equipped with the right stuff. I didn't have the snacks prepared and so when the munchies called the potato chips answered. This time I'm taking the necessary precautions and completely emptying our house of all temptation... if there is nothing "yummy" to eat, we'll have no choice but to go for the healthy things.

I have been talking about it for about 2 months. I am tired of the clothes that used to fit, being snug, and quite frankly pissed that it has gotten to this point. I have always been a chubby girl, and I'm totally okay with it. I'm not looking to be a certain size or shape, I'm just tired of being blah. I want to be healthy, feel healthy, and I'm not gonna lie, look good. I still have a baby bump despite the fact that little man is going on 5 months old. It's time for some action!!

Hubs is on the boat too, he is ready to commit to a total lifestyle overhaul and quite frankly we have both gotten to an all time "bad" since being married for 3 years. It's so easy when your feeling loved and adored by your spouse to sit down with a bag of sour cream and onion chips (me) or a entire case of Oreo Cookies (him)

So tonight we are off to the grocery store, we are fully stocking up our fridge with yummy, healthy snacks and nutritious options ... I've spent the day ridding our house of the junk, everything from the freezer, fridge, and pantry are cleaned out of the crap.... so . . . here we go 


Adios Mis Amigos,

To cosleep or not to cosleep

Looks like a fairy tale right . .. baby sleeping peacefully while Mum and Dad look lovingly down at their new born. . . this was us and has been us for the past 4 months. . . .Never in a million years did I ever think that I would be "that mom" that keeps her child co sleeping . . . but alas... a life full of "never say never" moments and here we sit. Little man happily snoozing away in his little pack and play next to my bed. He's sleeping a consistent 12-14 hour nights without fail . . . hasn't woken up during the night in FOREVER.

I found myself in a near anxiety ridden moment when hubs mentioned that perhaps tonight was the night for him to start sleeping in his own room. SAY WHAT????? I gave him the obvious glare of questioning when he brought up too many points to mention here... mainly that we are going to end up with a huge problem the longer we let him get used to sleeping in here with us. . . . he went on and on and actually had to almost ready to commit to a trial run. (with me of course sleeping in little man's room)

Then the more I sat on the couch watching my fix of A&E's show Obsession. (the show deals with all sorts of mentally ill people. Hoarders, OCD  etc) I realized. . . . I couldn't do it . . . I am obsessed with sleeping with our bedroom door locked. .. . nothing crazy. I don't have to wash my hands 347 times a day or circle around the house checking every single light switch 234 times . . . I just like to and have always slept better with my bedroom door locked.  It's a stupid poorly productive habit I know. If someone is serious about breaking into our house and coming into our room, I'm pretty sure that little tiny lock could be busted if they blew strongly enough let alone gave a little bit of muscle.  So here I am envisioning said intruder coming and trying to break in and suddenly it dawned on me that the very same intruder would easily head to little man's room first and for sure kidnap him and we would be on the news begging and pleading for his safe return . .. . ohhhh Lord sign me up for an intervention now . .. .

Yes I know I'm crazy . . . I know that this will not happen . . . I know that he will sleep his ever loving heart out there in his own room, in his own crib and be perfectly fine . . .it's me that is a mess .

So I relocated our pack and play into our bedroom (he is quickly outgrowing his previous co sleeper (#1 reason on hubs list why he should start sleeping in his own room.) so problem solved :o) at least until I can get myself admitted to a crazy person hospital :o)

Adios Mis Amigos,