I remember it as if it were yesterday.
May 5th, 2009. I was sitting anxiously in my sister in laws labor and delivery room. This was the culmination of everything that freaked me out about having a baby.Sure the 9 months was scary, and I knew that I would be a mess, but this was it, either way of getting that baby out was absolutely terrifying to me. If the baby was to exit from the "Whoooohaah" (what I refer to as my "lady parts") there is sure to be horrific pain and torture, there is no way that thing is ever getting back to normal. . . and worse to me then that traumatic option... was them having to slice and dice your stomach to get the baby out. Everyone says its an amazing miracle, its what a woman's body was made to do. I'm sorry, not mine, NO THANK YOU!!!
Everyone in the room was excited, happy, and strangely peaceful. Of course I was thrilled to be welcoming a new life into the world. We were finally getting a niece and I couldn't wait to have a new little life in our family. It was just being in that room, sitting in the sterilized environment, the overhead lights shining down and the impending "doom" that was coming. I couldn't get the traumatic images out of my head . . . she had to get out from where she was and that scared the crap out of me.I actually said out loud to the room full of my husband's family " I will never do this".
That was it, my declaration to the world, his family, and to God. If there was any doubt before, this sealed the deal. I was never going to make a baby!