Monday, February 15, 2010

The day my world stood still

Almost 7 weeks after uttering that dare of "never doing this" in my sister in laws labor and delivery room, my world was about to change forever.

I had not quite been feeling like myself. I was sick to my stomach, achy boobs, and everything seemed to send me into tears. I was exhausted from the moment I woke up in the morning until I came home from work. I was napping almost every day, and I am not a napper. Anyone who has sat through a sex education would have put together the pieces, but I was in total and complete denial. After all, I had taken a pill once a day to ensure that a baby was not an option.

I called out of work, curled up on the couch and sipped on ginger ale and saltines. Two days later, when the "bug" still hadn't passed and I was feeling miserable. Sure, there were a few pills that last batch of birth control that I had taken late, and yeah there was that one that I missed completely, but seriously, if you had to remember to take it at the same time every day everyone would be knocked up. HA! 

So off I go to my pharmacies family planning isle. I stared for a good 15 minutes trying to figure out the difference between them all. How was a girl supposed to know which one will give her the right answer...the only acceptable answer which is, "heck no your not pregnant"!!!  I wonder if they make a test that will simultaneously start your period? So with a small sampling of the entire section I head home. Before I'm finished I see two lines. "whooohooo I picked a good one" An instant sigh of relief rushes over me until I look up at the box and realize that two lines means baby. I read the directions; as if the words will say something different then the clearly labeled picture on the box. Tears begin to well up in my eyes and before I know it I'm sobbing... then it hits me... maybe you can have a false positive... I run to the computer and instantly ask the google Gods.... there are many results which do in fact show that there is a chance of false results... false negatives that is... despite my recent findings I decide to take a few more tests, it can't hurt right??? wrong... all of them turn positive as quickly as the first and its then that my full blown panic attack arrives.

After a phone call to my anti-baby-making sister and her fiance I am feeling better about not wanting to be pregnant or have a child, they assure me that its completely normal to be freaked out. But I soon realize that I need someone to talk me into having this kid. After all, I was already pregnant, not much to do about the "baby" situation. This is when I call my "all I have ever wanted to be is a mom" sister who proceeds to reassure me that everything will be okay. That I will in fact survive and that the next 9 months was going to be amazing. I was skeptical, but at least able to breath again and feel ready to face the husband.

He was on his way home, if I had honestly thought that there was any chance of a positive test I would have waited for him. I call to see where he is and before I know it I'm blurting out the news over the phone. "WE ARE HAVING A BABY". Again the sobs came and he had to talk me down for his entire drive home. He, of course, was thrilled. He rushes in the door and wraps me up in his arms. I was still freaking out but knowing that he was with me, I could breath again.

It was then, June 25th, 2009 that my life changed forever and I became The Accidental Baby Maker.

1 comment:

  1. Em, I love it. It's great to be able to know more about what you're going through from far away.

    This is such a great idea. Ed Cyzewski (King's Alum the year before me) posts some good stuff about building a blog following.


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