Sunday, April 25, 2010

My Quest for Domesticity

domesticity n pl -ties 1. home life 2. devotion to or familiarity with home life 

It was told to me when I was around the age of 16 that I would need to marry a gay man. That I needed someone who was good at cooking, cleaning, dressing, and all around domesticity. This was due to the fact that even then, my friends, family, and closest companions knew that I was completely lost when it came to all things "wifely". 
I am not a good cook, let me rephrase that, I don't cook at all. Many have tried, given me their "easiest recipes". I'm just not good at it. Maybe its having to be precise in my measurements. I can't handle a dash of this, or a splash of that. I need good solid measurable ingredients. But then on the opposite end of the spectrum, I'm really not that great with directions. Somehow my meals never turn out like they are supposed to. So I stopped trying. Most people have at least one signature dish. Not I. Sure I can throw a pound of speghetti into some boiling water, and warm up some Ragu. But I'm talking about a real dish, one that requires some spices, herbs, seasoning. Every girl should have at least one dish right??? 

I absolutely hate cleaning. I feel completely defeated after spending all of my time and energy scrubbing, scouring, sweeping, mopping, and de-germing only to have it dirty again within a few hours. (the cost of having two dogs and a hubs) I know it needs to get done, and I love the end result. Nothing soothes my soul more then the sent of lemon fresh clean floors and a spotless house. I just hate feeling like the second the house is lived in for more then two seconds there is a new mess. I would drive myself crazy attempting to keep the house as clean as I like it. So again, I gave up. Now I'm lucky to get the house cleaned when we are having company over. (I keep it sanitary, just not "clean clean")

This brings me to laundry. My husband now wears dress shirts, ties, and trousers to work every day. The pants and shirts need serious ironing. I have never ironed a man's shirt in my life. Seriously. If I have something I want to wear that is wrinkled I toss it in the dryer and remind myself to not buy that material again. And besides, all of my laundry hours are put it keeping our 2 month old in clean clothes, do you know how many outfits, bibs, burp clothes, blankets, sheets, a baby goes through in a day???

All of these things are items which I know, now as a Mom I should be doing. I am not striving to be a Leave it to Beaver or Martha Stewart by anymeans. Simply trying to aquire a hint of domestic domination. Granted my life is in a bit of an upheaval with packing, moving, unpacking, and tending to the little man. But I am determined to get a grip on this.

~Accidental Baby Maker

1 comment:

  1. Ok, first, fear not the cooking. The splish of this and dash of that is because cooking really isn't a solid numbers game. You can make anything, however you want according toy our tastes. So long as you like it in the end, that's all that matters. I do not have a signature dish. I suggest mastering one technique and a few seasonings. For example, I started mincing and sauteing garlic and onions. Now, everything we eat has garlic and onions. I've also got the broil/ steam veggies, combine with some kind of starch, and add a salt/ cheese thing down. Whatever works.

    I don't iron either. My husband relies on the dry cleaners to press and steam. I try and I could probably try harder, but I more often iron wrinkles into shirts than out of them. He loves me for my quirks...I think.

    This whole motherhood thing brings the journey of all this stuff. You'll be surprised at either you assimilation to your idea of motherhood, or your rebellion against it. Whatever happens, you'll find rest in whatever works for you.


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