Now motherhood on the other hand, is entirely 100% in my hands. Don't get me wrong, I'm not taking anything away from the big guy upstairs, I'm simply saying HE has entrusted me with this little man and I'm doing my best not to screw him up. It's up to me now, to protect him, keep him healthy, feed him, teach him, and all the rest that goes into being a mother. And that freaks me out too. I mean how many counseling sessions have I had that have involved my childhood. How many ways have all of us been forever impacted by things are parents have done or said.
I'm finding this an extremely heavy burden to bare. To breastfeed or formula feed. Feeling guilt and failure when breastfeeding didn't work out. To vaccinate or not vaccinate. What if my little man is that one in a million that has some sort of awful reaction. To co-sleep or make my little guy cry it out. Will he become too dependent on us, is that even a bad thing. What I do now, according to all of the books and google Gods could very well make my precious amazing little man a very well adjusted, self confident, and amazing adult. Or it could very well turn him into the next creeper, loser of a man still living at home at the age of 42, or at the very least cost him an arm and a leg of therapy.
So here I sit, researching the heck out of the world wide web with things to do, not do, must do, shouldn't do and I finally came to the conclusion . . . there is no conclusion. So now we have started a therapy fund, right along side of his college fund. This way,
Adios Mis Amigos,