Feliz Navidad

It's beginning to look alot like Christmas.

We are coming up on some crazy times in this casa.

If you think of us, say a prayer for my hubs. He is going in for surgery on Thursday and will be home making my life a living hell RECOVERING for a full month!!!!

Since I'll almost definitely be MIA for a while I thought I'd share our Christmas card.

I'm super happy we got it photographed, printed and shipped before Thanksgiving.

This way while I'm loving caring for my husband at his bedside I can address the envelopes and get those suckers in the mail.

Adios Mis Amigos,

Giving thanks with a grateful heart

Today, I blog with tear filled eyes. I am slapped in the face this morning with just how many things I have been blessed with this year. And not just this year, but sometimes I feel that it's almost too much for one person to hold. 

And yet how often do I grumble or complain?  How often am I consumed by frustration or anxiety? I can't help but wonder if perhaps I'm not missing out on some of the joys in life . . . today that will change.

The this day on I will promise to always try to see the glass half full.

I will pause when the day is sunny and sky is clear and soak up the warm rays on my face. 

I will cherish every second I have with those I love, never knowing when our shared time may end. 

I will find the happiness in whatever situation I may be placed in, 

knowing that it is exactly where I am supposed to be.

I will snuggle my son just one minute longer thanking God that is healthy, happy, and beautiful.

I will hug my husband every chance I get, allowing him to never doubt my love for him. 

 

I will call my sisters, and let them know just how much they mean to me. 

But today, today I dwell on all of the good stuff. The stuff that takes my breath away.

Today I thank God for the amazing gift of my son. Something that I never knew I needed, and yet now, today, would be lost without. He is the truest form of God's love that I have ever felt. The feeling of unconditional love and adoration that I feel from him on a daily basis (okay except during his new found tantrums) is unlike anything I can express. To know that God saw fit to send such an amazing blessing into my life.  He took my life that was in bits and pieces and turned it into something of meaning, of value and worth.

Today I thank God for my husband. No one can make me laugh, smile, or happy the way that he can. Sure no one can annoy me or frustrate me like he can ,but it comes with the territory. He is undergoing surgery next week and I have been up at night worrying. The thought of something happening to him is something I can't even bare to think about. And yet, I can't put it out of my mind.  I can not imagine my life, our son, or my future without him. I feel so blessed and honored to be married to a man that loves God, loves me fiercely, loves our son with a kind of love I have never seen, and loves how much I love my family :o)

Thirdly  I am thanking God for today is my family. yes all of them. I know that every single one of them contributes amazing things to my life. I praise God for being born into a family, that while we are crazy dysfunctional... I would not want to trade places with anyone. I thank God for being married into a beautiful family. A mother in law who loves me like her own daughter, a family full of Aunts, Cousins, Sisters and gorgeous Nieces and Nephews.

And lastly, and the thing that was brought to my attention just this morning is the amazing gift of my sisters.
 Each and every one of them. Growing up we had three bedrooms and one bathroom to share between 6 girls. YIKES. But it created a sense of closeness that I know is the reason why we are the way we are today.

Our mother always said growing up that no matter what, Sisters stick together. Now as time goes on, days pass, and our lives change we are all going through growing pains. Some are changing into the people they are meant to be, others are going through phases and trying to figure out what they are supposed to be. But in the end, when one of us needs something, we are surrounded by 5 amazing woman.

Watching these 5 amazingly beautiful, generous, and loving ladies with my son was something that I will never quite have the words to describe. Happy just doesn't do it justice. He is the most amazing thing to ever happen to me. He is my greatest life's miracle, and not being able to share him with them for the first 6 months of his life was heart wrenching. But the month of time that we spent in NJ is something that I will cherish till the day I die.

It makes me sad to be missing all of these firsts with them. His first thanksgiving, Christmas, and Birthday. But I cherish every day in knowing that we will be moving back. My heart is sad for these memories that I am missing. But the ones that he will remember, the ones that will make him feel warm and fuzzy or perhaps hugely annoyed with having 5 Nagging Aunts :o)  will be spent with them.. and for that ... I am grateful.

Adios Mis Amigos,

Freaking Friday...... She's Got Punctuality

 

Stuff that just ticks me off!!

Freaking Friday, Today I love you. You are the end to a week that has been a huge roller coaster ride. And I hate roller coasters!!! (yes I used the triple exclamation) I get really bad motion sickness. So, riding any kind of ride, especially emotional roller coasters makes me dizzy and nauseous. 

Seriously though, this week has been a rough one.

Yesterday was the cream of the crop, the straw that broke the camels back. Yuck, too many, I know!

I have a thing for being on time. I get really annoyed when people say something will start at a certain time, and then 45 minutes later, we've been standing around being the awkward first ones there. 

Of course now that little man is here, and everything is taking a thousand more hours to do then normal I find myself tardy a lot. It bugs me. Something I'm trying to rectify  ASAP!

Yesterday was a rare exception. It was just me heading out the door.  I left early, with extra time to feed my habit (habit being Diet Coke, fountain soda variety). 

With my soda in hand I walked into the Doctor's office, with exactly two minutes to spare. I filled out my paper work (new patient stuff SUCKS). And was literally all set and ready to go by 1:58pm. 

I smiled inside and probably outside also. (Crazy woman in the waiting room alert!) 

My appointment was at 2. I sat and waited. I found a copy of this month's parenting magazine but article I wanted to read (Top 10 things to feed your child) was torn out of the magazine. WHO DOES THAT!!!! Seriously take the whole darn magazine before you rip out an article. At least then I wouldn't have noticed the pages missing. I would have never missed them. 

So I'm annoyed that my article couldn't be read. I glance up at the clock. 2:15. .. . deep breath, okay, I feel like 15 minutes is an acceptible amount of time to be late. Beyond that it's rude. Seriously rude. Don't they know I'm a crazy busy, emotional roller coaster riding, mama with her plate full of to do things.

Now with no article to read, nothing to distract myself , and my quickly growing irritation I'm left with my thoughts. What if this thing, isn't just a thing. . .but a bad thing. 

What if it's something serious, what if its the scary C word. (cancer)

I have had a pain, in the side of the boobie, since before I got pregnant. I kind of ignored it, mentioned quickly during my first prenatal visit, and of course because I was pregnant, they said it was normal. Now 9 months post partem (over a year since originally noticing it) the pain is still there, getting worse not better, and that worries me. I glance at the clock... 2:30.... 30 minutes unacceptable! I ask the woman at the counter and she apologizes. Apparently the person before me was having a hard time laying still and they had to start over. GREAT!

Now I'm full fledged freaking out and turn to my tweet deck to distract me. I catch up on friends. Then people I haven't seen since high school suddenly become an interest. Then my bestest friend comes to the rescue. After seeing my twitter post, she sends me a text message. She distracts me with talks of fun stuff. 

I realize I'm wearing two different colored flip flops! Bonus points for me, when I actually felt like I was not looking like a frumpy mom today, foiled again. It's now 3:00pm. Annoyed at myself now, for looking like a frump. Kudos points to the BFF for keeping the scary thoughts away for a full half an hour. But now we are talking an hour late. This is INSANE! 

Just as I'm getting up to go complain to the front desk, the cute little lady behind the counter, says, "oh my goodness, I paged them for you half an hour ago" "wow really cause I'm still here, my appointment was an hour ago, and I'm afraid I'll have to reschedule unless I get in right now" 

Mmmm hmmm back to thinking scary thoughts and of course not knowing is so much better the knowing right.... (sarcasm) 

So I go back... FINALLY ...  I realize I am actually terrified of small spaces. MRI= super duper small space, can't breath claustrophobia. They have to pull me out of the machine and let me find a happy place before I can go back in. Suddenly I feel bad for cursing out the person before me for not laying still.

No results yet, still waiting, patiently of course (sarcasm). 

So today, freaking Friday. Thanks for getting here. Finally. Looking forward to a yummy drink tonight and celebrating the hubs and my birthday tonight with his family!!! 

Adios Mis Amigos,

Thankful Thursdays

 

Gratitude Creates It's Own Attitude

Today my friends I am thankful for the Veterans. Yes It's Veterans Day so it makes sense. But it goes much deeper then that. My grandfather, who is more then just your average Grandfather served in the Navy. He completed his Medical Degree and served bravely for so many years. My uncle, is also in the Navy, currently serving. He has been to Iraq, Afganistan, and most recently Haiti. I have a great Uncle that died while serving during WWII. He was young, fresh into his twenties, and was snuffed out before his life ever really got a chance to be lived. While these three men are just a small fraction of the United States Armed Forces, they are the world to me. My Grandfather and Uncle stepped in as my own father was stepping out. They took over every responsibility that a father should own up to and then so much more. Because they remained our Uncle and Grandfather as well. 

Today I Say Thank You. To all of the men and women who are serving, have served, and who paid the greatest sacrifice in protecting our country. 

I love this song, every time it comes on the radio I get a refreshed feeling of patriotism. And so I leave you with the words :o) 

American girls and American guys, will always stand up and salute.
We'll always recognize, when we see ol' glory flying,
There's a lot of men dead,
So we can sleep in peace at night when we lay down our heads.
My daddy served in the army where he lost his right eye,
But he flew a flag out in our yard 'til the day that he died.
He wanted my mother, my brother, my sister and me.
To grow up and live happy in the land of the free.

Now this nation that I love is fallin' under attack.
A mighty sucker-punch came flying in from somewhere in the back.
Soon as we could see clearly through our big black eye,
Man, we lit up your world like the fourth of July.

Hey, Uncle Sam put your name at the top of his list,
And the Statue of Liberty started shaking her fist.
And the eagle will fly and it's gonna be hell,
When you hear Mother Freedom start ringing her bell.
And it'll feel like the whole wide world is raining down on you.
Ah, brought to you, courtesy of the red, white and blue.

Instrumental break.

Oh, justice will be served and the battle will rage:
This big dog will fight when you rattle his cage.
An' you'll be sorry that you messed with the U.S. of A.
'Cos we'll put a boot in your ass, it's the American way.

Hey, Uncle Sam put your name at the top of his list,
And the Statue of Liberty started shaking her fist.
And the eagle will fly and it's gonna be hell,
When you hear Mother Freedom start ringing her bell.
And it'll feel like the whole wide world is raining down on you.
Ah, brought to you, courtesy of the red, white and blue.

Oh, oh.
Of the red, white and blue.
Oh, hey, oh.
Of my Red, White and Blue.

[ More Keith Toby Lyrics ]

Adios Mis Amigos,

Words of Wisdom on a Wednesday

What not to eat 


Dear Son,

Not everything that is on the floor is food. There are many, MANY things that should not go in your mouth. Some examples are, shoes. If you even knew how dirty and disgusting shoes are you would not be trying to suck on them. Zoey's chew toys are another good example. I know you love her, but you do NOT need to swap spit with her! The all so tempting piece of lint. I know it seems like a good idea at the time. But trust me, you'll choke, I'll get scared, I'll have to fish it out of your mouth to keep you from dying and you'll end up crying. Skip it next time okay?

Thanks,

Your Mama



Adios Mis Amigos,

Tackle it Tuesday... You gotta have Faith Part II

 

Man, today continues the overwelming emotions. I am feeling a bit more at peace with some things. Others are still nagging at my soul. We are coming up to some major decisions and changes in the Baby Maker Casa. Decisions I'm not really ready to share with the world.... but working through. 

(no I'm not preggo!!!) 

It's a tricky thing. That "thing" being faith. When I was in high school I wore a necklace every single day. It was my great-grandmothers. It was a little glass bubble with a mustard seed inside. I was always amazed at the teeny tiny size of such a little seed. That teeny tiny little seed grows into a plant that is Ginormous. 

The verse on the back of the pendant read, " if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.."

It was my sort of "mantra" during that crazy time of my life. I hated school, with a passion. I set the new all time record my senior year of missing 63 days and still somehow managed to get A's and B's and graduate.

I was miserable at home. My parents were both in an ugly phase of their lives, and their marriage, and I hated both of them.

I had a few friends, that I loved to pieces, friends that I took refuge in but at the end of the day I spent alot of time alone. Any time I would get discouraged, would feel like throwing in the towell I would say it over and over again in my head.

As we jump into this new phase of our lives, I'm putting all of my faith in God. Knowing that HE has brought us to this place. HE will carry us through the dark times, the scary times. He will lift us up when the dust settles and we are ready to rejoice. 





Sometimes life is tough, sometimes it stinks, sometimes it's so beautiful it brings tears to your eyes. The thing is, God is there in all of those moments. Trusting God even when I don't trust myself. That is faith, or at least what faith means to me. 

Today I am reminding myself that God is in control. 

God will wrap us up and carry us through this time of unknown.

Adios Mis Amigos,

Makes my Monday

 

Stuff that Rocks My Socks

I'm finding myself a bag full of emotions today. My heart is aching and breaking. I'm frustrated and dissapointed . I'm sad about losses, excited about new prospects. There are just too many things going on. Things that I can't even process let alone put into words. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be back to reality. Realizing that I'm way over analyzing things, or perhaps not over analyzing but giving some things and some people too much power over my life. Praying that is the case. For fear of venting and saying things I shouldn't, things that will get me into trouble later on.....I'm going to leave it short and sweet.

Today I take refuge in my son. He has been God's gift to me. Exactly what I needed during this time in my life. He brings me to a place of calm. A place where I am able to take a step back and focus on what is really important. I am eternally grateful for being allowed these moments with him. Whenever I am upset, irritated, or sad all I need to do is sweep him up in my arms and the rest simply doesn't matter. And that Makes my Monday.



Adios Mis Amigos,

 Gratitude creates it's own attitude

Today I am thankful for finding other blogger's like myself that dedicate one day to being thankful . . . I'm linking up with the Thankful Thursdays group .... I'm obviously a little slow ... blaming it on my lack of coffee but couldn't figure out -for the life of me- how to get the link to work correctly ... sorry ... but I've attached the The Tarr Pitt's Thankful Thursday link . It's a great idea, and one that I've been doing for a while, but glad that there are others out there also :o) Besides being thankful for other thankful ladies, today I'm thankful for my husband.

Yes babe!!!! 

I'm thankful for you!!!! 

(he says he reads my blog... this is a test) 

I don't think he gets enough credit around here, no credit actually, I scoured the blog trying to find it... and I couldn't.... sad face .....and before you click the "x" for me being another one of those mushy gushy "my husbands so perfect" women.... hold your horses....

Things have been rough lately, as I'm sure most marriages go through the hills and valleys, ours has been a bit heavy on valleys. We are going through some tough lessons and things have not been all that great (trying to stick to my words of wisdom from yesterday with transparency.) I would honestly say that ever since Little Man's arrival things have been in the not-great-at-all category. For me, it's a whole new ball game when you suddenly have every ounce of energy zapped but a new little one. And on my husband's side, this new little one created a whole new level of stress. Sure providing for a family of two was tricky some times. But if things got tight, we scraped by on love and mac-n-cheese. You can't do that with a newborn. Sure that is a massive understatement for the issues, but that pretty much sums up the majority of issues.

Through these learning curves we have both learned that neither one of us is feeling appreciated by the other person. We have been both so caught up in our own "good deeds" that we have failed to see it from the other perspective. That makes me sad. I am so proud of him!!!! So proud it brings tears to my eyes even now as I type.

Despite the issues we have had, he is an amazing dad, he loves his son with a fierceness I have never witnessed. It turns my heart to mush when I watch them together. I have not had to work since November. Something that would have scared the bahjeebers out of me back in November. But it's all because of him. Because of him I have witnessed my son rolling over for the first time, been here for his first crawls, laughs, moments that I will forever cherish. I have not had to ship him off to a daycare (as was our original plan) but have been the one snuggling him to sleep. None of this would be possible if he didn't work so hard providing for us.

I love you babe... more then words.... and next time... when your feeling unappreciated.... you can come back here :o) and remind yourself.



Adios Mis Amigos,

Words of Wisdom on a Wednesday

 

An OUNCE of practice is worth more then TONS of preaching. 

One of my biggest pet peeves is hypocrisy. I absolutely can not stand those that say something and do another. Those that give advice to someone in need and don't follow that same advice that was given. I think along with that is a form on dishonesty. I just can't stand it. And once someone has proven to be dishonest, it's very hard for them to ever get back on my good side. But watch out there POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK. I got to thinking, in what ways do I not practice what I'm preaching. All too often actually. It's easy for me to brush it off, because they are little things. Making an excuse for why I didn't answer the phone call of a friend. Feeling that my life is lacking meaning, so I make it all much more serious then it really needs to be. It's so easy for me to call out people for being fake, and yet how many times to slap on a happy face and act like I care, when deep in my heart's thoughts I'm not giving a darn. 

So today, my challenge and quest. To be the most authentic person I can be. If I don't want to go, I'm not going to. If I don't like it, I'm not going to say I do. If I'm upset, ohh you'll know. 

But obviously all the while trying to not be a biaatch and piss off everyone I know :o)

Adios Mis Amigos,

Tackle It Tuesday. . . Oh, ya gotta have faith

I grew up in a Baptist family, a traditional, go to church every Wednesday and Sunday, three times on Sunday actually, kind of family.

My grandmother and grandfather were the driving force behind my church going ways. You see, my mom was a divorced, mother of three small girls, trying to work her way through the corporate world. This left my grandparents to raise us most of the time.

So we had Awana (kids bible study group) on Wednesdays, that soon grew into youth group (middle school and high school bible study) While we were busy learning bible verses my grandmother would be in the weekly prayer meeting. Then Sundays consisted of Sunday School @9:00am.... Church @ 10:30a.m. (don't really remember how the two were different actually) and then we would come back for night church @ 6:00ish. This basically just left enough time in my Sunday for lunch, homework, and then dinner.

As I grew older and eventually moved out to my own place I was on Church overload. I had gone to a private Christian school where I had bible class every day. I saw many people, good Christian people, living very hypocritical lives. I went on to pursue 3 semesters at very traditional Christian Universities. Where I again, saw two kinds of Christians. The rigid, I love Jesus, I want to be a missionary, pastors wife, and live the rest of my days "serving the Lord".... or the "I'm here because I have to be" ..... So once I was out on my own.... I vowed now that I was Ms. Independant that I would only go to church when I really wanted to go. Of course I didn't want to go. I wanted to go out late Saturday night with my friends and have fun, I wanted to sleep in late on Sunday mornings and then the day laying on the beach, curled up on the couch, or any other way I found to waste an entire day of my life.  The guilt that overwelmed my soul those first few Sundays was incredible. But eventually I didn't even notice. Instead of Sunday being church day, it became, stay up late, sleep in late and do whatever the heck I felt like doing.

It has continued to be that way for the better part of 6 years. Wow, 8 years actually. And once I got married I swore that the hubs and I would get it together. Be one of those cute church couples that ran a home bible study group and served with the youth.... but no, we have chosen the exact same ways as before.

Now that I have a son, I am starting to worry. The only thing that kept me "safe" through many of my rebellious years wast the fear of God. Literally, all those years spent at church, in Christian School, taught me right and wrong, it gave me a strong conscious and while most kids were out drinking, doing drugs, and getting busy with boys, I was too afraid. Sure I had a "moment" of about a year where I finally did live a little. But it was nothing looking back that about a thousand other kids weren't doing.

Last night I finally broke down. I suddenly felt this heavy burden beating down on my chest like an elephant. My first thought "great I'm having a heart attack" .... but as I quickly ran through my limited medical knowledge I realized it was a full blown panic attack.

I was the one who was solely responsible for my son. It was me that had to teach him every element of right and wrong, good and bad. It was me that had to help him learn what was in the black, gray, and white areas of life. What did I base all of my "big decisions" on.... well the bible of course. Where did I learn all of that .... ummm church ... hello.....

So...... yes, I'm heading to church this weekend. And no, it's not to start early on Little man... he is only 9 months old you know. But it is to restore the faith that I once held very dear. To get back in touch with a God that I have seemed to lost along the way. No I know that he didn't go anywhere, it was me, but now I see that maybe my grandmom was on to something after all.

Adios Mis Amigos,

Makes My Monday - Family Traditions

It's funny because growing up Halloween was a big deal. My whole family (Aunts, Uncles, Cousins) would gather at my Grandparent's house. All of the kids and parents would go around the neighborhood while our Grandmom made the traditional Stew for dinner. I hate stew, but I loved the tradition.

Now that we are here in San Antonio, I'm sad that my husband's family doesn't celebrate. I get the whole "being Christian" thing and not wanting to celebrate something that has such a dark history. But I don't know .. for us... we knew about the other side of it, but we celebrated the day and season as a time to have fun, dress up as something funny, and most importantly get lots of candy.

So, since it was just me and little man,  I spent the day a bit sad. Okay not a bit, a lot!!! Another thing that is making me homesick and sad that this first year of his life is missing something.But, after he woke up from the nap, I realized that whether we were home or not, we were going to have a fun Halloween!!! We got dressed up as the cutest punkin' around and went to the few neighbors that we have gotten to know since moving. Sure it wasn't the big grand Halloween I'm used to, but at least it was something :o)

Adios Mis Amigos,

Smilin' Saturday

 

Things that make me smile. 

Today we remembered an amazing man. My husband's uncle that passed away a year ago. We spent the morning at the cemetery sharing our favorite memories of him.  I couldn't help but get a little introspective. Here was a man, a husband, father, brother, uncle, and friend that impacted so many. His funeral was packed to the rim, with so many people showing their outpouring of love. Today there were maybe a dozen people surrounding his grave; all with tear filled eyes, and heavy hearts. Here, a year later, there were a dozen people who's live were forever impacted by this man.  Sure, his funeral was evidence of the many more people that loved him, were affected by him, but here stood 12 who would never be the same. His wife and two daughters obviously still missing his presence. His three sisters who were aching to have their brother back, yet rejoicing in the fact that he was united with their parents. His five neices and nephews all laughing as they remembered him scolding them, or praising them. My two little nephews who are the sweetest most compassionate 7 & 9 year old's I know. Stood there with tears streaming down their faces at different times during morning. I would watch their faces and my own eyes would fill up with tears.  And now in our family we have a whole new generation of "babies". While they will never have the joy of knowing this man, his legacy will be forever ingrained in their lives by their parents and all that he would have taught them.

He was many things to many people. To me, he was love. He was the first person I met from my husband's family. My husband's father passed away when he was only 16 and his Uncle took over many of the fatherly responsibilities for both my husband and his two sisters. When my husband (then boyfriend) first told me about his uncle he went on and on about his crazy Hispanic temper, his sense of humor, but mainly focused on the important role he had in my husband's life. From the very beginning I knew that he was the closest thing I would have to a father in law. As soon as he met me he gave me the biggest hug. It was one of those hugs that just makes you feel loved. We spent some time talking and getting to know each other but then we had to get going. I landed in Houston, but the rest of my husband's family was in San Antonio (about a 3 hour drive). His uncle insisted that on my departure day we drive up early so that we could spend some time together. And so we did, we got back to Houston about 5 days later and his uncle actually changed my flight so that I would have more time there to spend with him. He insisted that I got to spend 5 days with the rest of the family, surely I would spend the afternoon with him. 

That was close to 5 years ago now. We didn't see him very often but when we did he always took the time to make me feel special. He would seek me out at family gatherings. Ask me how I was doing and listen carefully to my answers. It was apparent to me how much he loved and cared about my husband. He treated him as a son, and me as a daughter.

Standing there today in the cemetery it's amazing that while he has been gone from this earth for a year, his legacy and place in this family will not ever be forgotten. And this makes me smile.

Adios Mis Amigos,

Thankful Thursdays - Coffee

 

Gratitude Creates it's Own Attitude

Well my friends, we are going backwards. And yes I'm talking about little man's sleep habits. 3 TIMES LAST NIGHT. He was awake and crying 3 times. 3 times I had to haul my sleep deprived - just fallen asleep- booty out of bed and try to figure out what was wrong. Teeth probably, but come on kid. It's hard enough for mommy to fall asleep when she is not being woke up every 3 hours. I'm back to the fresh home from the hospital barely conscious feeling. Staring blankly at the monitor for a good, well who knows how long, before I finally realize that I haven't even turned the darn thing on. And the kicker, today is a school day for me, with a killer test this afternoon.... that I have to ROCK!!!

It's gonna be a long long day!!! But today I'm thankful. . .. . thankful for coffee, for my favorite thrift store find coffee mug, that is easily 2 regular coffee cups full of yummy deliciousness. Thankful for a coffee pot that was only $10.00 at walmart but brews up a pot of scrumptious brew in less then 3 minutes. (beat that crappy expensive coffee pot that is out in the garage)

Hoping everyone is having a fabulous enjoyable day!!! !

Adios Mis Amigos,

Words of Wisdom on a Wednesday.

It's not the quantity that counts, but the quality.

Don't know why but this has been stuck in my head the past couple of days. And not only is it stuck but I can't help but apply it to just about everything. it's a love hate thing really.

you see . . . applying it to shopping online, LOVE it always makes sense to buy one pair of awesome, cute, but high quality shoes over 4 cheap, break after the first time you wear them shoes.

Applying to friends, LOVE ALOT. I have two amazing friends. Friends that would go to bat for me no matter what. Sure to some that may make me pathetic, but I see myself as hugely blessed. I know that outside of my family, there are two people in the world that would do anything for me.

When talking about ... hmmm I don't know grocery shopping, I'm not gonna like ... I hate it.... sometimes a girl just wants a good deal on diapers, toilet paper, and strawberries!!!!!

and that my friends, is my words of wisdom on a Wednesday :o)

Adios Mis Amigos,

Tackle It Tuesday. . . .ambition???

I say, Ambition, because honestly, I've got nadda. Today is supposed to be "School Day." I'm supposed to be hard at work learning the parts of the body, or muscles, or something anything that will help me finish this stinking Medical Transcription Certification but I'm at a total and complete loss. The hubs hit a sore spot that I haven't really been challenged academically ever. I did the bare minimum to pass, but only took the base level courses. I have never known "what I wanted to be when I grew up". So I never really pushed myself. This course is kicking my ever lovin booty. I'm smart don't get me wrong, (maybe smart ass but smart non the less) It's just that for the last 9 years as a nanny my brain has simply had to eat, sleep, and play with babies. Now I'm challenged every single day I log on and while it feels good.... it's hard!!!!

It's hard, but it's also not what I really want to be doing. I chose medical transcription because it was a decent paying job, I could at home with little man. Actually any job that I could do at home with little man would have won my vote. But it was the best paying one.. and hey... mommy likes new shoes.

All I really want to do is create. I have this deep down desire in the pit of my stomach. I need to create, design, something anything . .. .and then I  realized.... IT'S BACK!!!!!! My creative mojo is back.

I posted a while back about how my son sucked any creative bone I had right out of me. Maybe it was sleep deprivation, the lack of energy, or this new found job of "mommy" but I had nothing. I tried and tried and nothing. I even got so desperate that I painted cardboard. yes, I painted cardboard. I'm not an artist by any means.... I'm sure that only the people that really truly love me think I'm any good. But I don't do it for outside reasons. I do it because I need to.

But now I'm back, over the course of the weekend. I finally strung up all of my great grandmothers amazing jewlery pieces into modern pieces I will actually wear. I organized my supplies (paints, needles, brushes, paper) and I'm ready to roll. I made a list of about 20 projects that have come to mind but I never had the juice to make it happen.

My next big project.... a sewing project.... But I have no sewing machine. Good thing I've got a birthday coming up and I still totally rock at asking for presents. Until someone somewhere tells me I have to stop.... :o)

So as soon as that sucker shows up on my doorstep... it's an awesome wardrobe for little man :o)


Adios Mis Amigos,

 I'm obsessed with finding a FREE photo editing software that I love, is easy to use (dummy proof), and can turn out pretty decent stuff. I have been trying out a few, but none really rock my socks... today's creation was done through photscape. Kind of limited, and didn't really do what I wanted, but still ... who can resist this little man :o) 

Adios Mis Amigos,

Freaking Friday . . . Thrifty and Nifty

So I decided several weeks ago that I was going to start getting thrifty and nifty. Thrifty being that I was going to get serious about coupons. I envy those facebook status' that flaunt these amazing deals "bill was $128.75 and I only paid $23.75" . . . . I have one this one blog I stalk religiously that is always talking about her amazing deals and steals and I always wonder how in the world she does it.

So I got serious. I joined a website... of course what else do you do these days. I'm not gonna like it's a little bit overwelming. There is all of this lingo, abbreviations, that I have no clue what they mean. My thoughts are if I need a cheat sheet of terms just to understand how to save $$$$ maybe I'm not cut out for it.

And then just as I was giving up hope I stumbled across a simple easy coupon promo for a free 8X10 Print from Walgreens. Sure it's only a $3.99 value, but I was pumped!!!

I logged on... uploaded my picture and just like that in a matter of minutes, it was done. I used my walgreens trip as my outing for the day (I try to plan one venture a day to get me out of the house) and within 40 minutes from the time I started this little money saving adventure I was sitting at home, with my freebie 8x10 print in a frame on my coffee table :o)   (I'd take a picture of the picture cause I'm just that proud, but I can't find the cables for my camera :o( ) so use your imaginations, picture this in a beautiful silver frame sitting in the middle of my family room :o)

So yeah, it's no biggie ... but I"m pretty proud of my first day of being frugal .... now quick, hurry on over to Walgreens and get yourself a fab print for FREEEEE

Adios Mis Amigos,

Thankful Thursdays - The Mother in Law(love)

Gratitude Creates It's Own Attitude 

Welcome to Thankful Thursdays

After the day I had yesterday, (if you didn't read, it involved maggot covered family rooms!!!!) I will welcome my mother in law with open arms and my bag packed and ready to run out the door. Every day that she comes to watch little man I am thankful from the bottom of my heart. But today, TODAY my friends I am so happy and thankful she is coming I'm writing at 12a.m.

I love my son, love is an understatement. As any mom can understand your children are your life, your every breath,  your pride and joy. I have never felt a love like this and cherish every second I have with him.

(So you don't think I'm a bad mom.)

I am looking forward to an 8 hour break tomorrow.

Part of my funk (been in this God awful, can't seem to shake it funnnnnnk)  is that I'm feeling completely under appreciated and overworked. Yes, I know we are a family of three. I only have one child to look after, a husband who works his tushy off every day providing for us so I can stay home and continue my education. But I kick butt around here. I am constantly caring for everyone else, and it seems that no one is caring for me. I'm not asking for anything crazy, just someone, anyone who puts me at the front of their mind. Hubs is wrapped up in work and job hunting (to get us back to Jersey). Little man is trying to tackle teething and crawling at the same time, so he obviously has his hands full. Although he is good for a great snuggle every now and then which makes this mama's heart happy.

I can't remember the last time that hubs has had to do more then wipe his own bottom around here. I take pride in knowing that I take care of my family. I have really struggled in becoming a "domestic goddess" and please know that I am no where near perfect or Martha Stewart. . . but I'm about as good as I'm ever going to get. (cooking, cleaning, laundry, and baby raisin')

And friends, it's down right exhausting. Tonight it hit me. My back is aching (haven't had a massage in F.O.R.E.V.E.R) , my feet are nasty (lack of pedicures), my hair is a mess (haven't seen to a salon in months).

Today is a day for me. . . . and I could not do it without my amazing Mama In Love. I hate the term mother in law when talking about my Mama-sitas because she is the most sweetest, lovable, little, cute, adorable, Hispanic Mama you will ever meet. She has taken me in as her own from the second we met,  before she ever officially knew I'd be joining her family. She has always done everything within her power to make me feel loved and cherished.

Today. ..Mama-sita ... I thank my lucky stars that you are in my life. Not just because you watch little man, but because you love him and care for him better then I do. You rescue me from my insanity and allow me the freedom to pursue my education, actually take a shower without having to listen for little man.



Adios Mis Amigos,

Words of Wisdom on a Wednesday

 

Well My Amigos, It seems that today has gotten the best of me. Little man is teething, and he has been one fussy baby bear today. . . plus I'm sure being confined to the pack and play for the better part of the day didn't help matters. Why you ask, was he confined to the pack and play.. because  I woke up to maggots... yes maggots....in our family room and partially in the dining room. Yes, even typing it I threw up in my mouth a little bit. They are by far the most disgusting nasty piece of nature I have experienced. Their little white worm like bodies, how creepily fast they are as they truck across the tile. G.R.O.S.S.!!!!  So there we are, barely finished my cup of coffee when out of the corner of my eye I see something moving on the floor. Now, our tiles are white with a decorative beige pattern, so they are easily missed at first glance. But there they were... out in the middle of the family room... with no nasty rotten food just there, on our tile floor. 

Needless to say, I have spent the better part of today (it's now 545 PM) cleaning and sanitizing our house. I don't know where those suckers came from, but I was sure as heck not leaving an ounce of tile untouched by bleach.And then of course me with OCDness couldn't stop at only the affected areas, I did the whole house. Every room was dusted, vacuumed, mopped, and cleaned. 

As I sit and type, I've still got the heebie jeeebies!!!!! 

My words of wisdom for today. . . . I got nadda .... "but keep on keeping on" my friends!

Adios Mis Amigos,

Tackle It Tuesday. . . Contentment

Why is it so hard to be content. I don't know what it is about life lately, but I just find myself left with this constant state of longing. I want things to be different. I am tired of how they are, but don't really know how to change them.

I am a lucky lady. I have a husband that loves me, a child that is amazingly perfect. Financially our bills are paid and food is on the table. We have a roof over our head, a car to drive us around. I mean, in so many ways my life is great. But why am I left with this feeling that something is lacking?


I am always a glass overflowing kind of girl. Always looking at the bright side, trying to find the good in life. But lately, I'm just stuck in the rain, with an empty glass, "why does life suck" kind of mood.

Is it a conscious choice I am making. Do I need to get a big old slap in the face and wake up to the reality. Is there perhaps something going on "inside" that is pressing down the joy that used to be overflowing.

I don't know. But today, I am choosing to count my blessings, even naming them one by one, trying desperately to see how good I have it and get back to that girl.... the one that loved her life and everything in it.

Adios Mis Amigos,

Makes My Monday- Snuggle Time? Yes Please

 Today my precious baby boy turns 8 months. 8 MONTHS!!!! It's amazing to me what an awesome little guy he is turning into. He is hilarious just like his daddy. He loves to "joke" around and be silly. But he is also very observant and watchful like his mama. It's incredible to me that someone that was so unplanned and scary could turn into something so amazingly beautiful.

Today he was soo sleepy that he let me snuggle while he drank his bottle. He laid across my chest and tucked his arm into my armpit and just snuggled. Normally he is trying to sit up and look out at all of the things he can play with. But not today. Today we snuggled.

And I loved every. single. second !

Adios Mis Amigos,

Freaking Friday - A day To Remember

 For those of you who don't know October 15 is a day is a A day to Remember.  A day to remember all of the families and parents that have lost little ones. I feel an ache in my stomach reading all of the stories of loss. I swept little man up in my arms this morning and snuggled him extra long. I have given him extra kisses and hugs and proabably annoyed the heck out of him but I just don't care.

Along these same lines one of my husband's co-workers was killed in an auto accident this week. The thing that has stuck with me and that I have not been able to shake no matter how hard I try; I saw the news that day and heard the story and didn't think twice. It wasn't until I knew that I actually knew the person involved that my heart broke. Why is it that we are so able to hear horribly sad news and not have it affect us until it touches our lives.

Today is a day of solitude for me. A day that every chance I get I'm lifting these families up to the heavens. And praying that every day is a day that I pray a little more often. I pray for the families I hear about on the news, strangers I don't know, loved ones I do know.

Sorry to be a Debbie downer on this Friday, but it's just the way it goes.




Adios Mis Amigos,

Thankful Thursdays

 Gratitude creates in own Attitude

Friends today I'm struggling. First of all you'll notice that there are like 4 posts posted today. That is because in my quest for awesomeness I thought I had gotten myself all set up with a week's worth of posting to auto-post each day. Only to realize this a.m. that none had gone up... awesome! 

But that is minor. I doubt that anyone stumbles on every day to see what I'm writing. If your like me, I blog read before bed. When I can keep my eyes open long enough. I catch up on my favorites and what they've been doing. 

But I'm back in a state of funk. Actually clinical funk. I even asked my Dr about it at my last appointment. Feeling hormonal and just down right shitty. I love my son more then words, adore my husband (most of the time) and in general know that I have a pretty great life. I even feel guilty writing this outloud because I know I shouldn't be so blahhhh. 

In short, I'm realizing that this funk that seems to be coming and going but mostly sticking around is something that needs attention. I have an appointment with a Dr that will hopefully help me weed out any hormonal/chemical issues and go from there. 

But even knee deep in the funk. . .. I am thankful. Thankful for an amazing son, who truly is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. A very patient and loving husband who has been nothing but supportive and compassionate while I try to figure things out. And some pretty awesome friends/sisters/family that call in and check up on me. I know that I am loved, cared about, and that is surely something to be thankful for !

Adios Mis Amigos,

Words of Wisdom on a Wednesday

 You are what you eat 

I've been thinking a lot about the old wives tales and the things my mom, grand-mom, and great-grandmother told me growing up. How many of them I will be using with my little guy, and how many really didn't seem to make any sense.

I'm sure if you're on Facebook you've seen the video of Jamie Oliver and a bunch of American Kids... if not... here ya go, I promise you you'll never look at a golden brown, crispy chicken nugget the same Jaime Oliver explains chicken nuggets

In my quest for awesomeness I have decided to prepare little man's baby food. Yes, it's a healthy option which was, of course, the #1 reason we did it. But it has honestly saved us a bunch of mullah. With trying to be a 1 income family every penny counts. I know what is going into his mouth with every single bite. I have the freedom to go to local farmers markets and grocery stores and choose the freshest, healthiest ingredients. I also have the flexibility of trying things that are not so common and have turned out to be oh so yummy.

While I don't really get the whole, you are what you eat idea. I do think that everything that goes in to our mouths has a role to play in the health and well-being of our bodies.

So for us. . ..  we are just trying to make the best choices possible.

Adios Mis Amigos,